The Four-Person Pact: a proposal

Why try something different

We’ve done weight-loss competitions before, and they haven’t lasted. Whoever falls behind early stops caring, because they can’t win anymore. And when the competition ends, so does the motivation.

So instead of competing against each other, I’m proposing we play on the same team, even with a couple of hours of I-20 between us.

We win or lose together, we track both our habits and our weight, and we check in often enough that nobody can quietly drift away.

How it works

A shared goal we hit as a group

Each month we set one target the four of us reach together. Since we’re in two cities, here’s a fun one to start with: together, we walk or run the roughly 175 miles between Kennesaw and Augusta. Every mile any of us logs counts toward getting “there.” If someone has a rough week, the rest of us carry them. Hitting the goal earns a group reward we pick together.

Habits and the scale, both

Each of us picks two or three daily habits that fit our own life, because habits are what actually move the scale. We also weigh in once a week, same day and same conditions (morning, before breakfast), and log it in the tracker where we can all see each other’s weight and progress.

One thing to keep in mind: weight bounces around for lots of reasons that have nothing to do with effort, like water, salt, and sleep. So we look at the trend over several weeks, not any single weigh-in, and nobody gets grief for a week where the number went up.

Habit examples: work out three times a week, walk after dinner, pack lunch on workdays, no takeout on weeknights, drink water before coffee, in bed by 11.

A quick daily check-in

Every day we each log whether we did our habits and any miles toward the group goal. It takes seconds. If someone hasn’t checked in by evening, someone else sends a nudge.

A weekly Zoom huddle

Once a week, all four of us get on Zoom for about 20 minutes. Everyone shares one win, one struggle, and their plan for the coming week. This is also when we look at the weigh-in trends together and adjust habits that aren’t working.

Working out together from two cities

Being apart doesn’t mean we can’t do things together. Each week we can do one Zoom workout where everybody follows the same session on camera. On top of that, each city pair has a built-in workout buddy, so the Kennesaw duo and the Augusta duo can do walks, gym sessions, or meal prep together locally whenever it works.

Making visits count

We already see each other every month or two, so let’s build something active into every visit. That could be a hike, a long walk around town, a workout or class together, or cooking a healthy meal as a group instead of eating out every night. Visits are also a good time to do a weigh-in together and celebrate whatever progress we’ve made since the last one. Visits happen in Kennesaw, and that month’s captain picks the activity.

A little money on the line

Everyone puts a small amount into a group pot each month. Missing your agreed habits costs a couple of dollars, and the pot goes toward the group reward or something fun on our next visit. Small enough that it stings a little without stressing anyone out.

A rotating captain

Each month one of us is captain. The captain runs the Zoom huddle, picks the group workout, chooses the activity for any visit that month, and checks in on anyone who’s gone quiet. It keeps things fresh and means it doesn’t all depend on one person’s motivation.

The “never miss twice” rule

Bad days will happen. One missed day is normal and nobody gets grief for it. The only rule is that we get back on track the next day.

Our rhythm

When	What	Where
Every day	Log habits and miles in the tracker	The app
Once a week	Weigh-in, logged in the tracker	At home
Once a week	Group workout	Zoom
Once a week	Huddle: one win, one struggle, next week’s plan	Zoom
Whenever it works	Workouts or meal prep with your city partner	Kennesaw or Augusta
Every visit	An active plan together, plus a progress check-in	Kennesaw, captain’s pick

The tracker app

I’m planning to build us a website to keep everything in one place. Here’s what I’m picturing it doing:

Each of us has a profile with our chosen habits and checks them off each day. We log our weekly weigh-ins, and everyone can see each person’s weight, how much they’ve lost so far, and a chart of their trend over time. A shared map shows our combined miles moving from Kennesaw toward Augusta. It also keeps a running tally of the pot and shows who the current captain is.

If there’s anything else you’d want in it, tell me before I build it.

Getting started

Agree on the plan. We talk it through on Zoom, change whatever doesn’t work for us, and settle the open questions below.
Pick our habits and goals. Each person chooses their habits and their own target weight, and shares them with the group.
Set month one. We choose the group goal, the reward, the pot amount, our weigh-in day, and our first captain.
Start tracking. Starting weigh-in, daily check-ins, the first Zoom workout and huddle, and an active plan for our next visit.

Things we need to decide together

Is everyone comfortable with their actual weight being visible to the group, or would anyone rather share just pounds lost and the trend?
What day of the week is our weigh-in?
What day and time works for the Zoom huddle and workout?
How much goes into the pot each month, and what does a missed habit cost?
What active thing do we want to do on our next visit?
How do each of us like to be nudged when we slip, a straight call-out or some encouragement?
Who wants to be the first captain?

The pact

We’re in this together. We’ll check in every day, show up for each other every week, never miss twice, and treat each other’s bad days with patience instead of judgment.